A Personal Message · 20 min read

What I Feel

Okay, soooo once again, I'm telling you that this is neither an apology message nor a message asking to restart our conversation from a fresh start. If you're reading this with that intention, then stop here and don't read any further....

Misty mountains at dawn

The Villain and the Fairy

Once upon a time, there was a villain. A villain who never cared for anyone because no one had ever cared for him. He wandered through a world filled with darkness, searching for a path that never seemed to exist. Every step he took brought him closer to death not because he wanted to die, but because of the endless mental and physical battles he had been fighting since the day he was born. Then, one day... A fairy entered his life. She wasn't just any fairy. She was the very person the villain had been searching for all his life without even realizing it. But the villain remained exactly what he had always been a villain. His hands had always been empty. He had nothing to lose, so he never feared losing anything. Yet the fairy chose to stay. She wanted to light his path and show him that he had been walking in the wrong direction all along. But there was a condition. Before she could light his world, the villain had to solve nine mysterious riddles. Only after solving every single one of them would she grant him three wishes, and with them, fill his life with light. The villain hesitated. Some of those riddles were painful. Some were dangerous. Some forced him to face the deepest wounds he had spent years hiding. Still... He decided to trust the fairy. One by one, he solved all nine riddles. And just as she had promised... The fairy illuminated his dark world. She filled it with warmth, endless care, unconditional love, and a kind of peace he had never experienced before. Days turned into months. Months turned into memories. Slowly, they became inseparable. The fairy grew so deeply attached to the villain that she couldn't bear even the smallest scratch on his body. She couldn't watch him being sad. She couldn't stay away from him even for a moment. But the villain... He still couldn't love her the way she loved him. The fairy slowly began losing hope. The dreams she had imagined with him started fading away. Then fate tested them once again.

One day, the villain fell seriously ill because of a disease he had carried since birth. Day after day, his condition worsened. He became so weak that he barely noticed the fairy standing beside him. Yet every single day, she prayed to God for him. She begged for his life. Miraculously, the villain began recovering. Slowly... His strength returned. And after a few days, he walked away from what once looked like his deathbed. The fairy smiled, but her heart still carried pain. She couldn't understand why the villain had neglected his medicines, his potions, and most importantly... himself. She explained something that changed his life forever. "If you don't take care of yourself... how can I stay with you forever?" For the very first time... The villain understood the true meaning of love. For the first time in his life, he finally had something precious in his hands. Something he never wanted to lose. From that day onward... He changed. Not only his behavior, but also the way he spoke, the way he thought, the way he treated people, and most importantly... the way he loved. He began loving the fairy a hundred times more than before. He cared for her. He understood her. He respected her. He protected her. She became his reason to dream. His reason to fight. His reason to live. Every single day, he thanked God for sending someone into his life whom he truly needed. And somewhere in his heart, he could hear a gentle reply... "God bless you, my child." The villain still had three wishes. Without wasting another second, he ran to the fairy and asked for his first wish. "I want to marry you... and spend the rest of my life with you." The fairy looked at him for a moment... Then smiled. She accepted his wish. Now only two wishes remained. Time continued to pass. Every single day, they grew closer. The villain was no longer a villain. He had become a hero. Now he had dreams. He had goals. He earned respect. He earned success. And above all... He had the fairy beside him. Years passed. Life became peaceful. Everything seemed perfect. But sometimes... Even beautiful stories are tested.

Small misunderstandings began appearing between them. At first, they seemed insignificant. But over time, those tiny misunderstandings slowly turned into painful clashes. After many ups and downs, they both tried to understand why everything had changed. Eventually, they reached a conclusion. Somewhere along the journey... The fairy had relaxed after seeing the villain become a hero. The villain had completely transformed himself. He became more understanding. More patient. More protective. More loving. More caring. He stood beside her during every difficult moment. Whenever she panicked, he remained calm. Whenever she doubted herself, he believed in her. Whenever she wanted to give up on her dreams, he reminded her why she started. He made her stronger. He became her safest place. But somewhere deep inside... The hero had started feeling lonely. Not because the fairy had stopped loving him... But because she no longer loved him the way she once did. He missed the little things. The care. The affection. The effort. The tiny moments that once made him feel like the luckiest person alive. One day, he quietly walked to the fairy and used his second wish. "I don't want money." "I don't want fame." "I don't want a perfect life." "I just want your love." "Your care." "Your understanding." "And... you." "Never leave me alone." "No matter who stands in front of you..." "Choose us." "Stay beside me... always." The fairy gently smiled. And she fulfilled his second wish. Once again... They began living happily. Then one beautiful night... Heavy rain poured from the sky. The weather was peaceful. Romantic. Perfect. The hero started talking with the fairy. Everything felt normal. Everything felt beautiful. Until... The hero asked her for something. The fairy refused. It had already been a terrible day for him. He wasn't asking for anything impossible. He simply wanted a little private time with her. A little comfort. A little love. A little warmth. But once again... She refused. The hero quietly ended the conversation. He thought... "She'll come." "She'll find me." "She'll pamper me like she used to." He waited. Moments became days. Days became weeks. But... The fairy never came. Every single day, he asked himself the same question. "Did I really ask for too much?" And every single time... His heart answered... "No." He never wanted expensive gifts. He never wanted fame. He never wanted riches. He simply wanted the care, love, and comfort he believed he deserved after surviving all the battles life had thrown at him. Slowly... He began realizing that maybe his second wish had never truly been fulfilled. Yet he still waited. Because he had faith in the fairy. Faith that one day she would return with the same love, the same care, and the same warmth that had once transformed a broken villain into a hero. But as time passed... The hero slowly began becoming the villain once again. And somewhere... One final wish still remained. Perhaps... The ending of this story has not been written yet. Will the fairy make his world beautiful once again? Or will the villain lose himself in the darkness forever?

Only time knows.

A figure standing beside a still lake at twilight

The Shape of Being Alone.

So, how was the story? I think it's the best overall. We closely observed it, but anyway, coming to the point it's been 15–20 days maybe aapn bollo Nahiye, and you know why, so I'm not repeating it again and again. Also, I'm not here to give you a lecture or teach you anything, just openly writing my maan ki baat.

Tu mazya life madhe aalisss tevhaaa mala khuppp relief feel zaaal from the day tu mala tuzzz karvuuun ghetlaaass. Te roj aapla bhetnaa, time spending, walks, and full-day calls and chats such a beautiful time of our life. The best part of that time was the simplicity: no stress, no issues, only fun and love for each other every day.

You know what? On the very first day of our relationship, I decided to give you everything that you deserve. But I never imagined that my girl wanted some precious things that no one can buy or sell in the market or anywhere, which are care, respect, time, and lots of love. I decided to transform myself into a gentleman partner. Tass tarr obviously vel lagnaar ch hotaa, but I did it because you're so special to me. In return, tu hi maaala itkaa care, love, and time dilaa, which I couldn't even imagine at that time. I love my Kalyani sooo much because everything is perfect in her, and she's so sweet too. Tevha nakkich resources and knowledge kami hoti tyaa mule jass pahije tass treatment nahi detaa aali, but only for her mi tharvlaa ki mehnat karaychii and ek better treatment dyaychiii which she deserves. Currently, it's 2:23 AM, and I'm writing this, so sarvvv moments ase eyes samoruuuun jatay, and I'm lil smiling. After all, it's the golden arc of our story.

Day by day, many ups and downs came, but one thing remained common, which is us. But sarvv tarr pakdtaaa nahi yett life madhe kahi na kahi rahun jaat. Tasch maazyaa side la yenarrr kahi gosti kami zalyaaa over time, but still I'm happiii because I had my Kalyani. I read somewhere that men are the simplest creatures in the world, and I'm also a grown man, in fact, a gentleman. So, what are the basic needs of a man? A good life, wife ne kalji ghyaaylaa havi, and khupp Prem karaylaaa havv. Kharr tarr aata sarvvanchi life madhe tension astch, so everybody needs someone who understands everything, handles their mood swings, knows what they like, and understands what they want. And the main thing is, manus kiti hi motha zaala naa tari tyaala pampering and soft love tari havi aste from someone close. Like, see na, if someone is working in an office, he had a bad day and is already tired because of some issues in his life. He's already filled with so many emotions, burdens, anger, and trauma. Then he comes home with all of this, and his wife sees him and says, "Areyy aala ka tuu!! Basss basss." But the man starts shouting at his family and wife over very small reasons.

Kharr tarr as mhantaat ki close person la aadhichhh samjuunn jaat ki manat ky chalu aahe. So wife la samjuunn jaat ki nakki kahi tari gadbad aahe. But instead of ignoring and arguing, she chooses to pamper him. For example, "Areyy kyy zalay mazya baby laa? Kashalaa raag kartoyy? Mi aahe naa tuzya javal." I think that's enough to finish all the anger and burdens from a man's shoulders because, in return, a good man always wants a happy life and expects basic things from his loved one, like care, love, time, and a little bit of pampering. After all, men also have feelings; they are humans too.

I'm also waiting for that pampering from a long time. Just one sentence, "Don't worryyy baby, just come to me."

That's enough to make forget everything, literally everything, because nothing is more precious than getting love from a close person. There are many things related to us that we have discussed multiple times, and every time the conclusion is the same, but the implementation is zero. So I'm already feeling a little emotional that even after doing everything, my hands are still empty in matters of love and all. But I'm trying and learning to adapt to this. I hope one day I'll succeed. The world is already getting out of hand. Everybody feels fake and shallow from the inside. Sarvv fayda baghtaay and kass trap kartaa yeil. But I feel happiii because I have you, and sometimes it feels ki pehli jaisi baat nahi rahiii. Asoo, every day comes with good and bad things, but if we start arguing over the bad things, then it's kind of an endless loop that never stops because every day comes with bad things. So it's better to focus on the good things. At least tyaane satisfaction milel and day hi better janaar.

Anyways

I think that's enough for this time. I talked too much. Currently, I'm writing this in Notes. I'm not planning to send it to you yet. If this reaches you on any date, just remember that I'm missing you also i hope tu Swata chi kalji ghet asnaarch and vele varr jevan karat raha.

Don't worryyy
I'm also good and fine
Flowing silk in green and gold

"one more thing it's all up to you. If you want to reply to this whole thing, then tu karuu shaktess. And if you just see it and leave it on seen, tarii hi kahihi harkaat nahi. After all, kahihi important nahiye reply sarkhaa, so bagh tasss."

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We haven't watched reels together in a long time, and you know why. So, I thought I'd put together a small collection of reels for you. Some of them are my favorites, and some are just random ones that I think you might like.

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Happii Birthday in Advance ❤️

Your birthday is coming up, and in the past I've created many different things for you. But this time, I wanted to make something different. I hope you like it and that's it, Byeeee

Not An Apology

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